Olivia McCrary Assignment 2

A Sort of Determination

At first, an uncertainty, a hesitant idea
But worth the risk

It wasn't easy
I was lost
But I tried, really

I sacrificed time
Time spent to be the best, to improve my future, typical things

Was it worth it?
Well, I never thought about giving up
I've been too busy

Maybe now, after three years, I'm used to everything
Or maybe I haven't the time to notice
Bent pages, crumpled papers, eraser smudges don't mean anything
There are greater things to fear, I've learned

I've faltered, I've doubted
Checking grades, waiting for scores, like everyone, I suppose
I'm afraid I'm not good enough
Have I wasted all this time?

Every day, I am trying to succeed
Somehow

My poem has a frustrated, but accepting tone. The poem shows my uncertainty from freshman year to present, from an uncertainty of starting high school and being in the Academy, to an uncertainty of what it all means for my future. Though I have a slightly pessimistic, frustrated tone about my high school experience, as the poem illustrates, I nonetheless accept the way things are and keep going ("A Sort of Determination"). Some specific word choices that show my attitude are "hesitant", "sacrificed", and "faltered". These words emphasize my developing unhappiness with my high school career. I decided to use a lot of spacing in my poem (to spread out the text) to reflect my tiring, never-ending struggle over the course of high school, which therefore reflects my frustrated tone. Images such as "crumpled papers" and "eraser smudges", though of little realistic significance, highlight the dark side of my high school journey- sometimes in moments of hopelessness about my potential, I felt as if my life were "smudged" and "crumpled". These simple images of irritating things faced by a student add to the frustrated tone of the poem. My allusion to "checking grades" and "waiting for scores" (AP or ACT) shows that I am still making an effort, despite my discontent. I am still functioning just as any student would. This demonstrates the other half of the tone- I am accepting of reality.